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What I would have done differently: Looking back on the situation, most of the guys and girls around me were also excited about being away from home and exploring their own interests. Months later, when I did come out, I found that most of them didn't care at all. I wasted great bonding time and denied myself some wonderful experiences by not being myself. But try not to make assumptions about your new hallmates. They're looking to find themselves in their own ways, and you're entitled to do the same. After months of thinking I was the only one, I ran across a guy in one of my classes who I thought might be gay.

Tired of having no one to talk with about my sexuality, I did everything I could to befriend him. I joined his math group. I asked if he wanted to study together. I made random comments about lectures.

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We eventually became good friends and came out to each other. And while it paid off and I had a new gay friend, I think I should have explored more.

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There were many gay and gay-friendly groups on campus that I could have joined. I could have also reached out and befriended more of my dorm friends. I later found out that they knew other gay people and they could have helped me make a connection. Don't put all your hopes on one person when you're looking for gay friends on campus.

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